Dear John Letter

Dear Eating Disorder,

I don't know how to say this other than to just come out and say it. The time has come for us to go our separate ways. We used to be the best of friends. I really did enjoy the time I spent with you. Our relationship was so comfortable. I look back on those day so fondly. But lately I get the feeling that you aren't giving me what I need anymore.

Don't get me wrong, you've done a lot for me in my life. You have filled a void that no one else has been able to fill. When ever the going got tough you were always there for me. You were my confidante. My partner in crime.

However, when I look at our relationship now, I no longer see you as a confidante but as my arch nemesis. Instead of letting me live my life and let me be who I am, you are holding me back from getting any enjoyment from life. I can't even get any enjoyment from the little things. I've tried breaking up with you in the past but have not had the power to stay away from you for very long. I have always returned to you, even though I know you are not any good for me, I have always returned to you.

I still don't know if I have the power to end our relationship. However, what I do know now is that I have the support of those who love me standing by my side. I have let others in on our little relationship. My family and friends know how dysfunctional and abusive it is for me to stay in this relationship any longer. They are providing me with endless support and love regarding my decision. They will stand by me and provide me with strength when I feel I have none.

I have realized that unlike my family and friends you've never supported me, you have only weighed me down. When I'm with you I seclude myself from others, I feel negative thoughts about myself and I don't see any hope towards the future. The only thing I'm concerned about when I'm with you, is you.

I can no longer live this way, because, let's be honest, this is no way to live a life. I can no longer eat my way through life. I want to be able to live life to the fullest, be able to experience all that is out there in this world and more than anything I want to be able to love myself.

It is for all these reasons that our relationship must end. Please know that I will miss you, all those trips to the kitchen at night, the covert operations to sneak food and the feeling that you would give me when I was fuller than I every thought I could be, yes I will miss you.

But for the sake of my well being I must end this. And I must end it now. Please do not contact me or try to visit. This may sound harsh, but I want nothing to do with you. From now on I have no room for you in my life. I will be busy moving on and growing up.

I do wish you the best.

Sincerely,

Tamara