Recently two wood spiders who have made themselves at home just outside our front door. They each have their own well constructed web. They each silently sit in the middle of their web waiting and watching every time I walk by. I feel lucky that I get to walk by them at least two times a day, sometimes four and then sometimes I just stand there and watch them. I stood and watched in awe for twenty minutes a few days ago while one was efficiently working on rebuilding its web. It didn't rush. It wasn't frantic. It instead went about its work in a calm methodical way. That was what amazed me the most. The calmness it had in rebuilding its own home. Astonishing.
I remember going to my grandmere's house. My sister and I slept downstairs in the craft room that was in the basement. It was inevitable that when you walked down that small ell shaped stairway that a spider, namely a daddy long legs, would be ready to great you on the way. I would hug the wall on the other side of the stairway to avoid getting any closer to the spider than I had to. I hated that my grandmas house always had so many spiders in it. Though it never seemed to bother anybody else.
The beds that my sister and I slept in remained unused when we weren't there. Every night before crawling into the covers I would roll the bed sheets all the way to end the of the bed to ensure no nests of spideys had made a home while I was away. Only after checking every square inch of bed and sheets was I able to crawl in and fall asleep.
Recently, though, I've noticed I feel a sense of comfort when spiders are around. Especially the two that reside just outside my front door. There is something that calms me when I watch a spider go about its daily activities. They don't show signs of frantic-ness, or stress, or self consciousness. They go about their tasks not caring what others think or about what needs to be accomplished next. I think the trait that I admire most about these eight-legged new friends of mine though is their ability to sit for hours on end. They don't feel the need to find themselves some busy work to do, or go to the fridge and eat simply because they are bored or create a blog to express themselves. They simply are content to sit, wait and watch the world.
I would love to learn to have the ability, to sit and wait and watch the world. I have no idea what I would be "waiting" for but their is an appeal to me in being able to be content with just sitting with my mind not running a thousand miles a minute. I'm always thinking of the next thing I should do, what needs to be done next, how soon I have to be at work, etc etc etc. Many of the reasons why my mind is running a thousand miles a minute is because I'm trying to figure out what is next for me. I want to get myself to decide on what I should do next. Maybe that isn't for me to decide though. Perhaps if I just sit with the quiet that is around me I will be better able to hear my true calling. If I don't make myself decide on something but wait for God to provide me with the answers, I most definitely won't have as so much stress in my life.
It's not every day that one realizes they have over come a phobia such as being afraid of spiders. I feel lucky that I have over come this fear. I'm learning a great life lesson from these magnificent eight legged creatures. The ability to sit with the quiet is a gift to be treasured.
