Sunday, November 7, 2010

Journey


I've noticed lately that it has become increasingly difficult for me to keep up this blog. When I started this blog I decided to choose a topic that was very close to home to me. I wanted to use this outlet as a way to express the many difficulties and realizations that have come my way during my quest to overcome an eating disorder. I wanted to share my ordeal with others in a way that didn't involve me chatting on the phone and describing in detail all the things that no one needs to hear. I wanted to be able to share what I chose without receiving questions from inquiring minds.

However, I have avoided this blog a bit lately because my life does not revolve around an eating disorder any more. I have more going on than that. (Did anyone else just read that?) I'll say it again. My life does not revolve around an eating disorder anymore!!! Wow! I never in my life thought that I would be able to say that. Yet here it is in black and white. I typed it before I even knew what I was writing. Is it possible for me to say that I am healed? Can I really be free from this ED that has over taken the last 7 years of my life?

The answer is a resounding: Yes!

I no longer associate myself as being someone who is sick with this disease. Yes I know that I'll still have struggles in this area. And don't get me wrong I know I still have many issues. But my life no longer revolves around being sick from an eating disorder or having my day consumed with healing from an eating disorder.

There is so much more going on in my life than just one thing. I work, even though some days I hate it. I play with my dogs. I go out with friends. I voluntarily spend time working on the house. I involve myself with crafts. I am becoming interested in dance and theatre again. Now that I realize that there is so much more going on with my life then just one, albeit very difficult, thing I think I need to expand the topics in my blog.

I have read several of my previous posts. Many of them are posts about self discovery. So I will continue down that path for my writing. I'm changing the focus from "my journey of an eating disorder" and instead I'm changing it to "my journey to self discovery". It'll give me more to write about. And lets face it, I think we all were getting a little tired hearing me whine about ED anyway!

So onward and forward. Here's to more posts that no longer focus on what disease I am sick with but will focus on who I am and who I am becoming.

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